DISAPPOINTING YOURSELF

COMMENTS, FEEDBACK AND ADVICE IS ALWAYS APPRECIATED, I WRITE THIS BLOG FOR MANY DIFFERENT REASONS: TO TEACH, HEAL, HELP, INSPIRE, RELEASE, GROW, AND ALSO TO LEARN MYSELF; I LOVE SEEING THE DIFFERENT POINTS OF VIEW, WHETHER OR NOT I AGREE, I’M TYPICALLY NOT EASILY PERSUADED, BUT I HAVE A VERY OPEN MIND AND IN MY WORLD THINGS ARE NOT BLACK OR WHITE, THERE’S A SPECTRUM OF BEAUTIFUL COLORS. SO A BRIEF BIT ABOUT ME, FOR THIS POST PURPOSE, I AM A REIKI HEALER AND TEACHER, I’M ALSO AN EMPATH ( KIND OF SENSITIVE TO PEOPLE’S ENERGY, I CAN USUALLY GET A SENSE OF WHEN SOMEONE IS IN A NEGATIVE SPACE, OR A EMOTIONALLY DARK, OR SOME SORT OF GRIEF SPACE, THOSE SORT OF PERSONS ARE DRAWN TO ME TOO, USUALLY STRANGERS, AND WITHIN MINUTES I KNOW THERE LIFE STORY, THEY JUST OPEN UP. BEFORE REIKI IT WAS ROUGH, I WOULD EASILY ABSORB THEIR EMOTIONS, IT’S TRULY HARD WHEN ONE PART OF YOU INSTINCTIVELY FEELS CALLED TO HELP PEOPLE, BUT ITS AT YOUR DETRIMENT. ) WELL IN THE BEGINNING OF THE YEAR I ORDERED A FULL SCALE NUMEROLOGY REPORT OF MYSELF, NOT THE LITTLE JANKY ONES , THE REAL 300 OR SO PAGES, COMPLETE WITH GUIDE LINES TO HELP ME GET THE BEST FROM THIS YEAR; THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA SINCE I STARTED MY BUSINESS THIS YEAR, I’D ONLY SKIMMED IT, DECIDED SINCE HALF THE YEAR WAS UP, PLUS I WAS HAVING THESE STAGNANT MOMENTS , MAYBE I SHOULD TAKE A CLOSER LOOK. BEFORE I GET AHEAD OF MYSELF LET ME EXPLAIN A BIT MORE. I KEEP EXPERIENCING THE MOST AWFUL EMOTION, ONE THAT I APPARENTLY HAVEN’T LEARNED THE LESSON FROM , ONE OF THE NUMEROUS TIMES I’VE BUMPED MY HEAD AGAINST THIS WALL. IT IS, BITING OFF WAY MORE THEN I CAN CHEW; PROMISING WITH EVERY INTENT TO UPHOLD, THINGS THAT I WISH I COULD DO; PLAN TO DO, AND WITH ALL OF MY WHOLE HEART WANT TO DO; BUT… SOMETIMES FINANCIAL RESTRAINTS, POORLY PLANNED – PLANS, LAWS OF THE UNIVERSE, REALIZING YOUR LIMITATIONS, OR UN – FOR SEEN CIRCUMSTANCES PREVENT YOU FROM KEEPING YOUR PROMISE; WHAT A DEVASTATING , DEFEATING FEELING, NOT ONLY LETTING THOSE YOU LOVE DOWN, BUT MYSELF. SO I HAD PROMISED MY ADULT BOYS: THE OLDEST 26; THAT I WOULD VISIT HIM NEXT MONTH IN CO. HE’S IN GREELEY, CO.  BECAUSE MY 21 YEAR OLD GOT INTO SOME TROUBLE AND LANDED HIMSELF IN PRISON, ALSO IN CO. BUT DELTA, CO. I DID NOT GET A CHANCE TO VISIT HIM LAST SUMMER BECAUSE MY ENGINE BLEW( THERE’S A STORY THERE TOO) SO I PROMISED FOR SURE I’D MAKE THE TRIP THIS SUMMER, FROM VA. ( I KNOW HOW IMPORTANT IT IS FOR VISITATION WITH INCARCERATED PERSONS) MY 19 YEAR OLD SON IS ALSO THERE IN COLORADO SPRINGS, CO. MAKING MISTAKE AFTER MISTAKE. I WANTED TO VISIT HIM , WITH THE INTENT TO BRING HIM HOME AND SAVE HIM… WITH THAT SAID. I DROVE TO JERSEY, 7 HOURS AND 45 MINUTES TO MY DADS; AND DURING THE DRIVE HAD TO PULL OFF THE ROAD , FEELING OVERWHELMED THAT MY GUIDES WERE TRYING TO TELL ME SOMETHING; I PULLED OFF , GROUNDED MYSELF, AND WENT INTO MEDITATION, THAT’S WHEN I WAS REMINDED OF MY NUMEROLOGY REPORT AND ALSO THAT IF I GOT THAT ANXIOUS ,IMAGINE A 27 HOUR TRIP WITH JUST MYSELF AND MY 14 YEAR OLD SON. OKAY, SO I FULLY READ MY REPORT, IT’S A EYE OPENER FOR SURE. IT EXPLAINS SO MUCH, AND YET LEAVES ME IN A TOTAL CONUNDRUM ABOUT GOING FORWARD. NEEDLESS TO SAY, I’M ON THE CORRECT LIFE PATH; MY CHOSEN PROFESSION, AS WELL AS THE FACT THAT I AM A EMPATH WAS RIGHT ON THE MONEY; HERE’S WHERE IT GETS TRICKY, MY SECONDARY AND MAJOR LIFE CHALLENGES ARE PRETTY MUCH THE SAME, NO KARMIC VALUE, 0 NUMERIC VALUE, WHICH IS ALL GOOD AT FIRST GLANCE , IN DEPTH THIS MEANS , THIS IS A LIFE LONG ISSUE WHERE IT’LL BE CONSTANT CHALLENGES SOMETHING THAT I HAVE TO DEAL WITH OVER AND OVER E.T.C.   CARE TO GUESS ??? STOP MAKING PROMISES. LEARN TO PUT MYSELF FIRST. DO NOT PUT MYSELF OUT AT THE EXPENSE OF ANOTHER, SEE PEOPLE FOR WHO THEY ARE ON THEIR OWN MERIT, AND NOT FOR THE POTENTIAL AND PERSONS I SEE AND BELIEVE THEY CAN BE.  DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD THAT IS FOR AN EMPATH? FOR A HEALER? FOR SOMEONE WHO SEE’S BEAUTY IN EVERYTHING? FOR SOMEONE WHO CAN ALWAYS FIND BLESSINGS EVEN IN THE HARSH REALITIES WE NOW LIVE, BECAUSE I KNOW THINGS ARE GOING TO GET BETTER. FEEDBACK COMMUNITY??? WHAT SAY YOU??? #LOVE&LIGHTUNITE