WHAT THE FUCK!!!

Clenched fists beating oak hardwood floors

Tequila fueled breakdown- screams summoned from my core

An amicable separation- what’s this truly mean

When I am devastated… and he doesn’t feel a thing

Over two decades we’ve shared- I built…I molded

I said separation- he smiled and then folded

Twelve days later he has a new love

He said I’m sorry that I’m happy

But… what we had- is what-was

I’m moving on with a new life

I hope you’ll do the same

Btw… you’re no longer welcome here….wife

Damn… is it me? Am I insane? β€πŸ’‘πŸ’ͺβš–

Hollow

Look deep inside.

Can you see how I feel?

Process this as reality… and know my heart loves you still

Difference has shred

The love that twined us two

Two decades I fought and bled

Thinking it bring me closer to you

Now here I stand

So dazed and confused

Wondering why each road led me away from you

The Universe has spoken

It said to set you free

You’ll be a better you

And I can truly be me

#β€πŸ’‘πŸ’ͺβš–

Trying to maintain

I have embarked on the unfamiliar.

I’ve spread my wings and stepped out on faith. I admit, spirit has shown me the starting point; so I know I’m moving correct. Spirit has allowed me to see that when it’s all said and done; I’m going to have clarity and everything I’ve been working for. I’m trying very hard to not allow those nasty little creepers (fear and doubt) to attach. #LOVEANDLIGHTUNITE

MEETING YOU

In the beauty of life dreams and make believe are reality. Dare to feel. Dare to think. Dare to be.

You are given what you can shoulder. Only shown what you need to see. In a moment… a day… a year… or two lifetimes, if it takes. Hard heads make make for soft a ass. We’re all bound to make mistakes. But maybe lifetime three or maybe four, you recall a dream to an open door. Once you awake. You can not forget. The you-you saw. The you-you met. You know for certain you’ve been here before and that our Creator made you for so much more.

My son Jacolbie A.k.a.Jac

So, you know how you get the perfect message at the perfect moment? Well this happened to me today. My son Jac, who I’ve already disposed to my readers, he’s in prison… well he sent me a card today I’m going to share with ya’ll the inspirational message in this card.

For those of you who believe in the ” middle child syndrome “it’s garbage! I have five children and I am the Closest with the my three middle children. Their ages are almost 24; as of next month, 22,and and 20. We talk every day, or at least every other day, even with my 22year old being in prison, we do not let this stop our communication.

ANYWAY

The card. Feeling a bit… neutral in my goal settings, so to speak… I receive a card from my son Jac whose in prison. He’s also my third child. My premature son, born at 27,in a half weeks due to placenta previa, 3lbs 12,in in a half ounces. We have a sort of connection.

So I get this card unexpectedly that says: ” Through you God brings so much love, life, and fun to the world…

How can I thank God for enough for you.

Then he wrote in the card…

Mom never give up on your dreams! Know all of your good work is noticed and the Universe will give back. Keep on pushing!

Mom. You continue to give me hope, love, joy, laughter, and the will to persevere through all! You make me proud… Dear mom, you’ve given and given some more all your life; and all of mine. You’ve sacrificed. You’ve loved, cared, and supported us all daily. Now love yourself! Chase your dreams! Keep making me proud, mamma! I love, love, love you mamma. More than you know! JacπŸ˜€