Why love languages don’t work ?

How many of you have read these books? I will confess I’m a avid reader and other then my V.C Andrew’s ” Flowers in the attic” series, ( I read every book from that one through Heaven) that lasted from the late 80’s throughout the nineties, all of my reading is: self help, love and relationships, spirituality e.t.c. I’ve always had a quest for knowledge and self improvement.

This led me to think, after studying and applying all of these scientific techniques, how come the results weren’t blissful love, mutual intimacy, red hot passion???


So let’s take the 5 love languages, for instance. In no particular order.

1. Words of affirmation. 2. Act’s of service. 3. The receiving of gifts. 4. Touch ( I believe it’s physical touch) 5. Quality time.

The premise is that we all respond to one of these five love languages as a core language; their science behind this is that we give love out, the same way in which we want to receive it back. Huh? Sounds true, so let’s go with it.

Now… in a perfect world…

Let’s all just take a moment to process this ” perfect Avatar robot science theory for a sec.

The first thing that was out of balance for me was; we, us, let’s just say me resonating with a core language? Bull ish… I am a spiritual being having a very human experience and I can say for certain that 3 out of the 5 are equal in importance in speaking to my heart center.

We’re multifaceted,ever changing, growing persons and with these maturing evolving moments in life; who we are and the way we receive and give love change too. Ponder this concept: that you may not even need someone else to speak a language of love to you? The concept that you have all the language of love you need within.

3 thoughts on “Why love languages don’t work ?

  1. Great post! I was a firm believer in the five love languages until I read this post. I never thought of it in the way that you explained it, but you are correct. At one point in time (when I was much younger), I was not fond of pda (hated it). However as a mature woman, I love holding hands, embracing, and kissing (pecks) my significant wherever we are. I value our time together at this stage in life. The younger me was totally opposite. So to your point, yes, we are ever changing and our love language changes over time as well. Also, I believe that one’s partner has an affect on how one responds to the love languages. For instance, my companion is a Nigerian who is 12 years my senior and I respond to his way of loving me (which I’ve never experienced before). It might have something to do with his cultural beliefs. He is faithful (loves the Lord), genuine, sincere, and patient. He has been quite patient with me over the years which in turn was the reason I was able to trust him through this process. So my love language with him is very different than what it has been in past relationships. Your point is valid and I would like you to consider another reasonable explanation as well. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Shantell. I am so totally open to other explanations; as knowledge and growth is important for me on my journey as a person, as well as a teacher. I embrace others opinions and being a empath as well as a libra, I’m pretty great at hearing all sides and learning new things. I can not wait to hear from you.

      Liked by 1 person

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